


Here be Gods, Here be Monsters.

by ManikinSlayer



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Young Veins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Human/Vampire Relationship, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-05-21 03:32:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14907504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManikinSlayer/pseuds/ManikinSlayer
Summary: The thing humans don’t seem to understand, is that he is no Edward Cullen. He’s a vampire. The pinnacle of human stupidity is their obsession with romanticising shit that’s gonna kill them. There is no ‘falling in love’ for him, vampires can't love. His body doesn’t even work fully unless it’s pumped full of thick, warm blood. And to be frank, he isn’t quite in the mood for dicking down with a dead, or unconscious body. He still has morals, and he isn’t attracted to his food. Would you fuck a sandwich? No? Well that’s how he feels about humans.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> set in 2003-ish  
> *the way these characters are written hold no reflection what-so-ever on their real life counterparts, and if you believe otherwise, don’t read this. end of. It’s purely fictional.

Brendon’s in his last year of high school, sixth form and he’s almost eighteen. He doesn’t have many friends. He knows Brent pretty well, although, he’s pretty sure Brent only eats lunch with him because all his actual friends have class during their lunch period. At least Brendon doesn’t need to spend lunch alone though, and Brent’s actually pretty funny when he isn’t being a dick.

Brendon tried inviting Brent out on the weekend once, it was awkward, and Brendon thinks Brent only agreed out of pity and boredom. Brendon doesn’t mind though. They saw a kick-ass movie about zombies and Brent let him ramble about vampires for an entire half hour before he told Brendon to shut up.  Brendon’s pretty sure Brent knows he’s gay, he isn’t very subtle when talking about the vampire movies and actors he likes. Brent’s been “busy” on the weekends ever since.

Sometimes people just don’t click. It’s not his fault that Brendon has yet to click with anyone. He’s just not found the right people, high school sucks for everyone. His mum says people will start seeing how brilliant he is soon. He’s just needs to keep smiling and being nice. Brendon doesn’t really believe her though, he’s not twelve anymore.

All the time he could have been socialising with his peers ended up being spent on developing an insurmountable amount of hobbies, he can play about four instruments pretty well, do back-flips, ride a skateboard, …and he spends  _ a lot _ of time watching movies.

Brendon’s favourite are vampire movies, especially ones that have  _ actual vampire _ actors, like Spencer James Smith V. They’re  _ so _ romantic, and they always feature kids like him. Girls and boys without many friends. Sad, lonely people who end up in these perfect relationships where they’re fulfilled and can’t want for anything more because their immortal counterpart has been waiting centuries just for them. Then no-one bullies them anymore and eventually they get turned and of course it hurts, but it’s so, so worth it because the love between them is so strong they’d go though  _ anything  _ to be with them for the rest of time.

His favourite vampire movie is ‘Interview with the Vampire’, it has his favourite vampire actor, Spencer Smith, as the lead. It’s based off this book with two male leads. The book itself isn’t actually explicit. Which is perfect, because if his mum ever found out he was reading erotica she’d string him up by his toenails, but Brendon has spent  _ several _ covert nights under the covers, imagining his very own Spencer Smith; touching him and not laughing at his inexperience and everything he doesn’t know (they have one computer in the house, it’s in the living room and his dad uses it for work. It’s not like he has any friends he can ask about the ins and outs of gay sex either). Maybe, maybe he’d even think it was sweet, whispering about how Brendon was so good to wait this long, just for him, like it was Brendon’s choice to still be a virgin at seventeen and a half.

Spencer would know everything Brendon wants.  Brendon won’t have to awkwardly try and explain all the fucked up shit that goes on in his head, because Spencer would just be able to read it for himself. He won’t even question that Brendon wants to be bitten, or spanked, or have his hair pulled and his wrists cuffed. Well, at least thinks he’ll like it, the thought of it has certainly gotten him off enough times. Brendon knows it’s weird, that he’s not normal, but Spencer won’t care. He’ll love Brendon anyway because Brendon would be  _ his. _

He won’t care that Brendon has no friends either, because vampires usually don’t have many friends out of their coven. Spencer would get it, Spencer will get him. He’ll never be too energetic or too loud or too annoying or needy again, because Spencer can’t actually get tired, he doesn't sleep, and obviously he’ll have super senses but his ears will just adjust to how loud Brendon gets when he gets excited, and most importantly he’ll love Brendon so much he’ll never think Brendon is annoying, or needy. 

Brendon just wishes he has a vampire boyfriend; because then no one would make fun of him anymore. He’ll never again be well acquainted with the rank, gross, sticky inside of some jock’s locker.  He’ll have the hottest man  _ ever  _ and no one will give him shit for being gay because Spencer can just hypnotise them into accepting them, accepting him. Or, alternatively, beat the shit out of them if Brendon wants. Everything, just for Brendon.

Maybe this is why Brendon has no friends, because he spends all his time fantasising about Spencer Smith saving him from his wretched, lonely life. No-one seems to understand why he loves vampires so much. Not even the girls who do nothing but sit and read vampire magazines during lunch. They even told him to  _ ‘go being a disgusting fag somewhere else, homo’ _ . It’s safe to say they’re the last people he’s going to try and talk about Spencer with. Brendon didn’t think he was that obvious, just because they don’t care about the actors and he does. That doesn’t make him gay (well, he  _ is,  _ but they don’t need to know that). 

They’re massive hypocrites considering how much they gush over Lestat and Louis and how they’re obviously going to end up dating in the next Anne Rice novel. Not that any of them read, they’ve only seen the movies.

Brendon doesn’t care though, those girls are fake fans anyway. They don’t even know how difficult it is to be open about having vampire status, most vampire roles are played by humans and it’s terrible. God Spencer is so brave, it honestly just makes Brendon love him more. 

Brendon’s really excited because there’s a contest he’s going to enter to get to spend and  _ entire day _ with none other than Spencer James Smith V, he can’t even imagine what it’ll be like to be wined and dined by his favourite vampire actor. He just need to go online to the official website and take the quiz. It’s supposed to determine the biggest fan of Interview with the Vampire. The only problem is that Brendon’s going to have to take the quiz when his parents are out, or asleep. He doesn’t think they’d quite approve of him trying to win a date with a  _ vampire _ . They already dislike that he watches movies with actual vampires in them, apparently they’re ‘satan’s messengers’, ‘unnatural’, and ‘should stop defying God and let him judge them’. Brendon knows he will win, he knows everything about those movies. After all, no one loves Spencer the way he does.  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wee bit short, but thats bc the next bit should be longerrr

Spencer’s fed up. He can’t even go for a bloody coffee without some obsessive fan bothering him and shrieking about how hot he was this this film, or insinuating how they could ‘keep him company’. Since it’s, you know,  _ obvious _ that he has no friends because he’s a vampire. It’s like they think those stupid movies hold any semblance of real life. He’s had to send Ryan out for coffee instead, which means he’s gonna have to listen to Ryan bitch about it for an hour later from their hotel room. 

They’ve been booked into a fancy ass hotel for his vegas stay, only for appearances though. He still has to share a bed with Ryan, and all his fucking pointy joints because they don’t actually give a shit if he’s comfortable or that Ryan’s a bed hog.

He’s so tired of all this shit. He should have never have come out. He gets all the crappy parts of being famous with none of the perks;

he’s broke as fuck, because vampires don’t have a set minimum wages since  _ technically _ they aren’t living human beings. All of his fans are these teenage girls who just end up disappointed when they meet him and he’s not in a 3000 year old suit, smoking, drinking absinth and generally being melancholy. 

He can’t even afford clothes like that, and Lord knows Ryan won't lend him any. Or, when they flirt with him and then get offended that he’s gay? What kind of fucked up psyche do you need to take that personally. 

They all think he’s thousands of years old and rich as shit, living it up in some big ass mansion. Well, he actually does live in a mansion, but it’s Ryan’s, and he’s a stingy bastard just because Spencer  _ maybe _ sulked a little when he found out his entire family was dead and he was suddenly immortal. Anyone would be upset by that! 

He got turned by Ryan in 1918 when his shitty luck ended up with him being around for the last outbreak of plague, and the family doctor turned out to be less doctor and more hungry Ryan. Spencer’s asked why he wasn’t killed with his family. All Ryan ever says is people with the plague taste abhorrent, and it would have just made him feel ill. Didn’t stop him from biting Spencer’s mother though. So that’s a crock of shite.

Spencer needs to make a living, he doesn’t want to mooch off Ryan forever. The only job he could get openly as a vampire while acting were these shitty romance films. His manager has got him doing so much promotional bullshit for his new movie and he gets paid crap for all of it.

The inequality and pay gap is fucking ridiculous. Sometimes, Spencer thinks he made the wrong decision being open about his vampire positive status, but he knows he needs to be or nothing will change. 

At least his fans are starting to educate themselves on vampire politics and understand how difficult it is to openly be undead in modern society. Even if they’re only doing it because they think he’s gonna fall desperately in love with them and make them immortal and all that other bullshit.

The thing humans don’t seem to understand, is that he is no Edward Cullen. He’s a vampire. The pinnacle of human stupidity is their obsession with romanticising shit that’s gonna kill them. There is no ‘falling in love’ for him, vampires can't love. His body doesn’t even work fully, unless it’s pumped full of thick, warm blood. And to be frank, he isn’t quite in the mood for dicking down with a dead, or unconscious body. He still has morals, and he isn’t attracted to his food. Would you fuck a sandwich? No? Well that’s how he feels about humans.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not beta-d as per, feedback is a++ thx 4 readin bb

**Author's Note:**

> *just wanted to note, I’ve never actually seen or read interview with the vampire, only a summary, and it took some extensive googling to find an adequate vampire erotica that also had a movie so kudos to Anne Rice for pulling through on that front.  
> not beta-d, im lazy


End file.
